Mommy 4-1-1

Mommies 4 Mommies: What We Wish We’d Known

What To Do When There Is No One Else… Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Filed under: Single Mommas — Heather @ Desperately Seeking Sanity @ 10:26 am
Tags: , ,

For the most part, I don’t mind being a single parent. It is what it is. I remember when I was married with just one child, I befriended a single mom at work and I would listen to her go over her routines with her girls.

I remember staring at her in awe and asking her, “How do you do it?”

Her response is one that, over time, I have come to utter more than I would care to in response to those who ask me that same question.

“I do it because I have to.”

That phrase is so very true. I do all that I do, because I have to.  There is no one to help me transport children to school.  There is no one to pick up the kids if I’m running late.  There is no one to help them with their homework because I’m not feeling well.

I do all the things I do because I have to.

Now, this does not mean that I can’t ask for help.  I can.  And I do.

But I can’t ask for help every day.  It’s not fair to my friends who are working and caring for their own families, so therefore, the responsibility lies with me.

Like I mentioned earlier, for the most part I don’t mind.  I’m used to it.

But there are days, like today for example, that I reach the end of my rope.  My very dear friend told me to enjoy the breeze as I was swinging from that rope, but I was so stressed out over the children, their inability to hear me today or do what I asked them to do, that I couldn’t seem to function.

Today was the day that I wished more than anything that someone, anyone, would walk through the door and deal with the kids so that I could at least enjoy a small portion of my day in peace and quiet.

But even though I wished that would happen, I knew that it would not.  I knew that I had to pull myself up by my bootstraps, feed the kids, get to soccer practice only to return home to get them showered and into bed.

And even though I wanted to crawl up in a ball and pull the covers up over my head, I knew that I couldn’t.

I don’t say all of this because I want to be seen as a martyr, because I don’t.  I don’t want to be seen as invincible, because I’m not.  It’s not my intent to make people think that I can do it all, because I can’t.

But I can do what I have to do. My children did not choose to have one parent.  I owe it to them to keep going.  I owe it to them to give them all that I can.

I owe it to them to do it not only because I have to, but because I want to.  I want to show them that depsite the forces that are against you, you can get it all done.  It’s something that they’ll need to know for school, for their jobs, for their relationships… They will have to do things because they have to.

I want to be a good example for them.  Because one day?  They are going to come to me and thank me.

But I’m pretty sure it won’t be today, or anytime soon for that matter, as they are grounded for not doing their chores the first five times I asked.


For Stay-at-Home Dads Friday, August 8, 2008

Stay-at-home dads are becoming more and more common. Hy-zah! I’m married to one myself. Just as stay-at-home moms have to fight tooth-and-nail for respect, so, too, do daddies. No one explains this better than Mike in his post POSITION AVAILABLE: STAY AT HOME PARENT! Great analogy!


I Might Just Like This Parenting Thing Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Filed under: Considering Motherhood,New Mommas,Pre-Conception — Dana @ 11:57 am

It’s not too often, it seems, that one hears all the good things about having a baby. I was seriously impressed with Heather‘s post today on The Spohrs Are Multiplying called I Might Just Like This Parenting Thing. Check it out!


Becoming a new mommy and bilingual babies! Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Filed under: Communication,New Mommas,Pregnancy — Paula G, Professor Pocket and My Pregnancy @ 8:29 pm

Hi Mommy 4-1-1,


I am 23 weeks pregnant with my first little one. I have to say it was a bit of a surprise to find out we were pregnant. My husband and I were in the stage of starting to talk about it when VOILA on a vacation to South Beach I realized it had already happened. We felt lucky to have been able to get pregnant so easily and I have had a wonderful pregnancy thus far. I love watching my belly grow, and the baby is getting big enough where now I can actually see my stomach bounce up when he/she (we aren’t finding out!) kicks!


As the months pass and the time approaches when this little baby will enter our world, my husband and I are trying to get everything prepared. By that I am not referring to what color I want to paint the baby’s room, it’s more about what kind of parents do we want to be? How will we make sure to raise a bright, curious, cultured, socially responsible child? Top on our list is to make sure the baby is bilingual.


I was born in the Dominican Republic and spent my childhood between Los Angeles and my hometown of Santiago. During the school year I was the Americanized version of myself, and then summer would come and my entire family would pack up and get ready for Dominican. Those summers are the greatest memories I have of my childhood and I remember almost feeling like I had two lives. I rejoined my Dominican friends and Spanish once again came naturally, so much so that by the end of the summer I was thinking and dreaming in Spanish. I loved having that special experience that none of my US friends had. I loved being able to meld completely into two entirely different worlds. I want my baby to have the same multi-cultural experience, especially in this increasingly global world in which we live. The benefits of being able to speak Spanish and English are still paying off. I have been able to travel and live in multiple countries. It has made me so curious and open to the rest of the world.


I am so passionate and so determined to raise my baby bilingually that my sister-in-law Nathalie and I started a company to help other parents do the same. Nathalie and my brother Carlos are already raising their two children bilingually. We launched Professor Pocket, , in 2005 and it’s been a wonderful journey. We produce Spanish/English CDs that use a combination of very funny storytelling and catchy songs to get both parents and their children excited about learning a second language. The key is to introduce the language early on. Children are little sponges, it is amazing how quickly they absorb what they hear. As a Spanish speaker my goal is to speak to the baby only in Spanish while my husband will speak in English. It may be intimidating for parents who don’t speak another language to introduce a second language to their child, but it is possible and I wanted to share my top tips for raising bilingual children….


1. Don’t be afraid!


Even if you don’t speak the second language, look for products, like Professor Pocket, that make language learning a fun and interactive process for both parents and children. As a parent you can learn along with the child.


2. Be consistent!


Make sure your child hears the new language every day, it’s the only way they will learn. Books and audio CDs are a must as well as everyday conversation.


3. Make it fun!


If it isn’t fun for you and the child, you are less likely to be consistent in your introduction. Music and stories are a great way to keep the child engaged while they learn.


4. Have no fear, your child will still learn English!


There are so many incorrect fears that introducing multiple languages will only confuse the child and delay their development of their English language skills. This is not true! Beyond becoming bilingual your child will show superior problem solving and math skills, increased overall school performance, and better cross-cultural understanding.


If you are interested in this topic here are some other sites to check out…


Bilingual/Bicultural Family Network


Teaching and Learning Spanish